It's a haiku.
You know when you're at a weird point in your life when things could go amazingly well or oh-no-oh-gosh badly,if everything happened exactly the way you wanted it to, then you would be on a smooth path, or if things didn't go the way you wanted them to, then your life would suck, and you're sitting on the sidelines of such happenings that you have no control over trying to make it all go the way it's supposed to even though you know that it's not doing anything to influence the happenings?
I'm waiting to sign a lease for the first time ever. I'm waiting on hours for a new experimental-ish job. I'm waiting for acceptance into a summer course that I hopefully will pass. I'm waiting to see if my tires will last. And I'm waiting. But the last thing I want to do is be passive. Waiting, by definition, is a passive verb, but I don't want to be so just because that is what I find myself doing a lot. At the end of my life, I want to feel the ache of spent muscles in my legs instead of a broken back from the load of meaningless crap I sat and collected while others traveled by.