Thursday, February 25, 2010

and so i watched helplessly as a world fell apart

Why do some people, wonderful people, people with the best of life's intentions, people with the sweetest souls, people with innocent longings, people with wholesome lifestyles, why do some people who so desperately want a baby get denied that blessing as if they didn't deserve it or weren't good enough?

Why so some people, young people, people with wild intentions, people with careless souls, people with selfish longings, people with questionable lifestyles, why do some people who have a chance at that blessing throw it away like it's a piece of food on their plate they didn't feel like eating?

I never appreciated the argument, "It's her body, it's her choice, she can do what she wants." That may be true, but in my opinion, this has never been a women's right issue, but one of human rights. And I have never met anyone who did it that doesn't regret it. I cannot imagine it when all I've ever wanted most of all was my own kids. And I would even take this one. I would take nine months of humiliation. I would take an unfinished degree. I would take a life I didn't expect. If I could. If that meant this one would be saved. If that were possible. I would. Right now.

But no. We don't think of that. We think of ourselves. "I'm too scared to tell my mom." Thinking of yourself and your horrible backbone. "I don't want the whole school to know." Thinking of yourself and your cowardice. "I don't want to go through the pain." Right. Because waiting four months requiring major surgery to murder someone by repulsive methods risking future breast and cervical cancer, the ability to have children later on, constant bleeding later on, constant psychological and emotional destress, lifelong regret, lifelong what-ifs will be so much less painlful.
Life is sad, y'all. Not everything has a beginning, a middle, and a nicely tied up end. Sometimes, stuff just happens. And if it works out, great. If not. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ?


  1. wtf is the proper label.

    unfortunately, people love to run from their issues.

  2. Thanks for making me cry.

    So true though. So, so true.